Your Daily Dose of DOOD
by Creativist
Summary: Not having a happy day? Read these short drabbles, can't be as bad as the prinnies. A prinny a day keeps the bad days at bay.
1. Wud a Dood?

Disclaimer: As always I hold no rights to the characters, settings, or prinnies presented to you today, they're donated property of the caring charitable organization of Nippon Ichi who were kind enough to send us a shipment of Prinnies to help us poor folk who are too stressed to give a damn about anything nowadays.

* * *

"Hey Prinley, I gots tuh ask you what's been on my mind, dood…"

Prinley had just finished his last swip-n-swipe on a customer's alligator brown shoes. His beefy Prinny body was covered with a lot of shoe shine wiper because of the busy day that was goin' on in Etna's shoe Shine parlor. He wiped his sweaty forehead wit' the same cloth he used to shine the man's shoes, "That'd be one nickel, dood, suh…"

The well-suited man lightly stepped from the chair, like a girly old lady, and checked his shoes, twitching his leg a pivot inspecting the quality of shine. He was satisfied indeed, and flipped Prinley a nickel for his service.

"I hope ya has a mighty swell day, dood."

When Prinley pocketed his last ticket to salvation, he turned over to young Doodles, "What it is, dood? What it is?"

"I's got a question," spat Doodles, while Prinley wiped the rest of the shoe polish off his fat face.

"Well, what it is? Make it quick now. Etna's service men not gon' wait for us to be chattin' storms."

"Wud be dood?"

"Says what?" Prinley reflexed his ears closer to Doodles, "Speak up dood, I can't hear ya."

"What's a dood?"

"I gots boobs?" Prinley pulled back with a swelled up red face, ready to smack his service boy.

"WHAT'S A DOOD!?" Said Doodles.

"I Eat A Lot Of FOOD?!!"

Slap!

With 5000yrs of hard labor, Prinley backed-slapped the newly prinni-carnated Doodles wit' his fin, "dood!" said Doodles before he pounced the waxed wooden floors.

"Ge' Back tuh work ya Jive turkey!"

"Dood! All I wan' know is wud a dood?" Said Doodles, as Working class men walked and stepped all over his plush prinny body.


	2. Prinny House of Horror

…It was dark, too dark; Prinston padded down the wall next to him and found a light switch. He flipped it on.

"DOOD!!"

Prinston instantly twitched to the source of the voice, surprised and terrified. He saw a lot of prinnies in a cage, their fins pointing upwards, "LOOK OUT!!" Said a prinny.

Prinston looked upward, and saw something massive falling closer without a sound. A big metallic clang rushed through the room just after Prinston dramatically dived to the side, rolling with accelerated inertia, into a screeching halt on his stomach.

"Holy Shit dood!" said the young bird, "now how am I gonna get out of this place?"

"Dood, yo! Look over here; come over here man!!" Said one of the prinnies in the cage. Prinston's focus on his near-death experience ceased when he heard the voices of the other prinnies, he twitched his neck to them and got up to obey their command.

"Thank god, dood!" Said the caged animal, as Prinston approached; "Now we're saved."

"What is this place?" asked the young fledgling prin-carnated prinny.

The prinnies began to rattle their beaks towards the clueless Prinston, shaking the cage up and down, "Get us out of here dood."

"Hurry up!!"

"You gotta help us, dood! Hurry!!"

Prinston looked around in his surroundings; it was a prinny concentration camp, and the young prinny happen to walk smack-dap in the mist of a torture room.

"Dood, help us dood!" said one of the imprisoned prinnies, shaking the cage in anxiety, sweat dripping down his face and arms, he spoke between his teeth, "Dood, we need you to help us, open the cage, the key is up there, open the cage before she comes back!"

"Before who comes back?" asked Prinston with fear in his brows.

"Just Open the -dood-ing door!!!"

"Ge' th' key, man!!"

Prinston rushed to the table and swiped the keys, putting his little peg-legs in hyperdrive to reach the cage, "Where's the keyhole."

"Right here!"

"Here! Here!! Here!!!"

"Right there, right there!"

Too many prinnies squeaked and squawked and all orchestrated a cacophony of misguided words that Prinston could not interpret.

"Come On, DOOD!!"

"DOOD, HURRY THE -dood- UP!!"

"I can't-- I can't find it!" responded Prinston, shaking the keys.

"Open the cage before she comes back, god dammit!!"

Behind Prinston, an echo pushed through the room; the sound of a door-slam. There was silence, all looked at the door Prinston came through… there was no one there.

"Shhh," said one of the prinnies, "Wait… is she coming…?"

All was at rest, frozen in space to allow for outside noise to wander into the room. At first nothing was in the air, but quickly a rising beat seeped through the crack of the entrance, soon loud enough to be wary of someone coming. The sound of boots echoing through the halls was getting louder…

"She's coming… SHE'S COMING!!!"

"Dood, open the freakin' cage, OPEN THE CAGE!"

Prinston still found it difficult to find the concealed keyhole.

The doorknob jingled, dispelling the noise yet again; Everyone looked at the door.

Prinston dropped the keys, he looked up at all of them, "I'm sorry."

"Dood! Where the -dood- are you going?!"

He strained his little peg-legs as fast as he could to the center of the room, looking for something for concealment.

"Don't leave us you -dood-ing little bitch!! Don't go, please don't go!"

He looked left, he looked right! The door started to yawn and creek. Prinston dived behind a glass chamber, with a yellow liquid culminating with massive froths of bubbles. His prinny image looked distorted through its glassy and saucy influence.

The door barked! The footsteps sounded much sexier in the room, "Ooh Prinniiiiiies!! I'm hoooooome!"

Prinston slid down on his butt, staring in space and meditating on the screams and mutters of the prinny victims behind him, begging for their captor not to get any closer.

"Who wants to take a bath?" sung the sexy voice.

"Not me! Not me!!"

The bulge in Prinston's neck went up, then down. He leaned to the side and stuck his head out to see what was going on. A very slim looking whore with red pig tails was coming towards Prinston. Prinston jerked and ripped his head back into secured cover.

Prinston was sweating waterfalls of terror, "Oh shit dood, that's Etna, which means… this is the prinny house of Horror!!"

He began to hyperventilate, "Did she see me?" he whispered, as he turned around to the glassy chamber.

He looked through the glass chamber, immediately something viciously dropped into the yellow liquid, with an up roaring splash that pounded the concrete; a tiny bit fell onto Prinston's hand. He jerked his fin and hissed his teeth, wiping the stain off his fin and finding a little burn mark in its place, "acid?"

Prinston looked up, looking at the prinny in the glass jar squirming and flailing, "Oooooo" it opened its peak, but only foam came out in its wake, "Oooooo" massive froths of foam and bubble secreted from the prinny's skin and to the surface of the acidy chambers, ionizing the poor and slowly disappearing prinny, "Oo-o-o…Oo…Oe."

Prinston's eyes were possessed and could not close. He saw that there was no more a prinny in the acidy chamber, but only a big mass of bubbles rampaging to the surface.

"Eenie Meenie Miney Mo, which of these prinnies have to go?" delightfully chanted the sexy voice.

Prinston poked his head out again; he saw all the prinnies gearing as far towards the corner as they could be, shaking and shivering, hugging each other in desperation, some even excreting prinny waste on each other.

"Iiiii choose… you," Etna pointed.

All the prinnies didn't hesitate to push out the one Etna chose; he slid right at the mercy of a Beauty queen.

"No… no, no, not me," He rolled onto his stomach in a desperate attempt to crawl back to his comrades, but Etna seized his leg and dragged him out of the cage.

The prinny's hands were, unfortunately, too slippery and waxy to produce any friction on the floor, chording a hopeless squeaky tone as his greasy body slid across the floor. "Doods, help me doods," he asked, of course as his now lifeless, surrendered body slid further away, yielding no productive effort to resist whatsoever, his Companions looked ahead, huddled and slowly revealing relief, remedied sighs and calm hearts of knowing there was another day for them to survive.

"Doods," he said sluggishly, "don't let her do this, please--"

The door slammed.

"psst, hey, dood…" Said one of the caged prinnies.

Prinston poked his head out.

"The close is clear, dood…"

Prinston revealed himself out in the open, tippy-toeing across the room. He stopped and looked towards Etna's inner penetralium, watching as blue light flashed at intervals through the glass of the wooden door. He didn't want to know what would happen to that prinny.

"psst, dood, come on, hurry up!" Whispered the same prinny.

Fortunately, the keys were still on the floor, right in front of the cage. He picked them up, and immediately the concentrated prisoners silently cheered him on again. Prinston found the keyhole and jangled a key in, but it didn't work.

"No, no dood, use the flat one,"

"It's not the flat one you jackass, it's the screwy-lookin' one"

"Yea, yea dood it's the screw-looking one!"

"No it's the one with the 'netherlock' symbol"

"Oh, jesus Christ dood," said Prinston, starting at one end of the keyring.

"AAaaaaRRRrRrgggggghhhhh!!!"

Blue light reflected off onto the cage, Prinston jerked his head to see a strong glaring light emanate from the window, also hearing a frying and popping sound from the inner penetralium.

"Dooooooooooood!!!" Writhingly screeched, painfully cried, horribly chorded, tearfully recited, loathsomely moaned the unfortunately undying prinny.

Prinston's head was screwed with his eyes glued at the door.

….

"OPEN THE -dood-ING DOOR!!!" The caged rattled and slammed onto the concrete multiple times, with prinnies squealing and crying for freedom; powerful metallic sound blasting through the room and into Etna's secret chambers.

The blue light dimmed, "YOU BETTA SHUT UP OUT THERE!!"

…..When the noise stopped…… the blue light flared again.

"Hurry up 'nd 'pen up th' door! Hurry up an'-open-up th' door!!" Said a prinny, faster then the speed of light.

"Aaaaaahh, my kidneys!"

Prinston jingled the keys, agitating to get to the next key to use. He dropped them.

"Don't drop the keys you idiot!"

He retrieved them, jiggling them into the keyhole, but yet again it was defective.

"No, not that! Not my prinny sack, NOT MY MANHOOD! Doooooood!! Noooooo!!! STOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!"

"OPEN UP THE -dood-ING DOOR!!!" screamed a prinny, squeaking and shaking the cage again!

"All the little prinnies that coulda been…" continued the ghastly tortured prinny.

Prinston went into hyperdrive, fitting in as much keys in the keyhole as he could.

"Hurry up!"

"Get us out, Get us out!!"

"I'm trying, I'm trying!" Said Prinston, shaking tremors in his peg-legs, jingling the keys evermore.

"Just kill me now you sadistic bitch! You cut off my pringer triple-X, there's nothing left for me to live for, kill me now!"

"You know what," Said Prinston, "Screw this dood," he dropped the keys and made a mad run for the exit.

"Where the hell are you going, DOOD?!" Said one of the caged prinnies.

Prinston accelerated through the threshold, just before the doors closed.

* * *

The Moral of this story is: 

Turn the other cheek if safety's what you seek.

* * *

Penetralium: Inner most sanctum; secret or hidden room.(Latin) 


	3. Rebel Without a Pause!

"Prinnies! Clean my shorts!!"

"Prinnies! Take out the garbage!!"

"Prinnies! Kill Flonne!"

"Prinnies! Check to see if the Dark Assembly accepted my proposals, if they didn't, kill them!!"

"DOOD! Kill them?! They're like level 1000 and shit!!"

Laharl crossed his arms, sinking his head and eyes into silence, "Are you questioning my orders…?"

His eyes prospered with the piercing gaze of an overlord as he chanted lowly and slowly, "My vassals will do what I say," He pointed at a door that mysteriously creaked open, revealing only the gigantic red eye of a beast flushed with insanity. Its terrible spirit-shattering roar ripped holes in the prinnies' feeble brave hearts.

"Now get to work!!" Responded Laharl with a vivacious anger, turning his cape to the prinnies as if he would to worthless beggars.

* * *

"Jesus freakin' Christ, I HATE Laharl dood…" Said Pringemodium, sliding his butt down against the wall and onto the marble floors, panting and sweating.

"Who doesn't dood," responded Doodatry, in the same situation as his partner, though more drearily.

They gave each other time to catch a few breaths.

Doodatry coughed out prinny juice, "But cha know who I hate more dood?"

"Etna?"

Doodatry coughed out some more prinny juice, "Dood!" he couldn't stop coughing, but he tried to discuss himself anyway, "How the freak didja know?"

"No one's as worst as Etna," said Pringemodium, looking up staring unconsciously at the chandelier… or into the next life, "She forced me to put things into places I don't want to say," he started to cry.

"Man up doods, man up," said the coming arrival of a third party prinny, "Laharl's on his way to give us more stuff to do."

"Unbelievable! We just finished with the dark assembly!" Said Pringemodium, "this is wrong dood."

"Says he wants us to open the gate to Baal's castle, he also wants us to see how strong he is."

"Oh, this is just straight up wrong doods," continued Pringemodium. Doodatry coughed out some more prinny juice, "Totally!" He hunched over ready to pass out.

"I mean, like, doods!" Pringemodium Conciliated, "We're not even Laharl's servants and he's giving us orders, what kinda shit is dat?"

"Damn straight dood," responded the third dood, "But what can we do?"

"What would Scooby-do…?" relieved Doodatry. Doodatry was just about to pass out.

Pringemodium jumped to his feet, "yo doods, I don't know what to say doods, but we gotta do something about this;" He looked at Doodatry, "Ya feel me dude?"

Doodatry coughed, "I feel ya… I feel ya dood…"

"We need to start a rebellion. Rebel without a pause!"

"Did I just hear you correctly?" Dictated an outside party, altering the color of Pringemodium's outline. He immediately stood in file in front of Laharl, "Dood, y-you didn't just hear what we were talking about, didja?"

Laharl's cape swarmed his arm and then dematerialized, revealing a sword. He said in a lowly voice, "Yes, I did."

"T-then you know we're not taking anymore shit from you… r-right?"

"Who's we?"

Pringemodium looked around and found Doodatry dead on the floor with prinny juice leaking out of his mouth, the other third prinny was no where to be seen.

"…Aw shit dood."


	4. How to Survive a Civil Protest :D

Doods, before you read this fanfic... understand, this is for all my working-class ancestors, who were whipped, beaten, hung, and worked long hours through the grave-smacking heat... to the cold nights of the unsympathetic red moon, for their plight for shorter work hours, for their plight for higher pay and more weekend vacations, and For their plight for dignity! They spent their entire lives trying to find and secure their place in the social order of terror. They fought for me and they fought for YOU, for the sake of the working-class generation of today.

This fanfic is for them, to let them know that YES, even today, We're still fired up, still ready to fight, and still talking about… _Revolution_!

Dood!

* * *

In the protestant church of the Holy triple-Pringer X in some backwash minimum wage broke-down neighborhood, the entire community of tired and angry bodies of blue hue(that of which consist of 100 attendance of the prinny nationality) resides within the church without a single absent prinny in attendance. The church is fat and overly saturated with financially plagued and socially shut-downed penguins-- much of them in their last elderly days. Though they are much aware of the social freedoms granted to them thus far through the many many years of low-budget protest, rallies in front of the Dark Assembly and endless assassinations against Great and legendary activist(such as Pringer X, Dood Z and Dood Z II), the elderly can't help but feel that their freedom is hardly called free.

Then again, how free can you be when you can't even leave your own neighborhood at night without mysteriously disappearing and having your prinny costume hanging in the middle of Town square?

How free can you be when you wake up in your own bed and find your best friends plush head swinging around on your ceiling fan with a starch look of surprised trepidation?

though so many of the blue-colored youth have taken arms and voices these days to fight for the definition of their prophesized domination(prophesized by Pringer Prinny King Dood II)

that all the elderly folk had slaved and struggled through for 5000 year of their life, the elderly prinny of common wondered, could they really lie 12 feet in the grave knowing that peace would finally be defined and social orders would finally reach out and see the prinny of common as equal citizen?

I'll now speed up time my dear reader.

Prinjaja the head activist of Protestant Church of Holy triple-Pringer X has received a telegram stating that a gigantic rally is set up at the NetherLeague stadium by EmPrinneor the new Prinny President(since the first prinny president was mysteriously drugged at a dinner party). Usually rallies take time, but this one just happened to come up out of no where-- but who cares for the details?

Prinjaja stands upon an alter with nothing but blue hue dominating the entirety of the Stadium.

"Brothas and Sistas…" Recited Prinjaja, at the Podium with the mic tapping his narrow beak, his three words igniting prinny jeering and cheerings across the world for plights for freedom.

"Amen."

"Amen dood."

Two prinnies on each side of the Podium are dancing and clapping. They're either drunk and it's a culture/ritual thing. They're also humming too, but we cant hear that as so because it comes out as a flat tone of "doooooood," but regardless… they're still humming. The world soon joined the clap for social disposition… and then finally Prinjaja went on to talk again.

"Let me share with you the slight of news. Now while I laid on my bles-sed couch and watched the news, suddenly there has been a rude awakening." Now Prinjaja starts to sound disgusted and ejaculates his arm outward and to the sky like common activist do, "Now I have WATCHED until my eyes have bled, and I have WATCHED until my rage was fed. 'What's left' my conscious said, 'what's left' my conscious said. It's about time the Prinny population told me this doods…"

"REVOLUTION!!" Recited the entire stadium, not to mention the entire world of prinnies outside of it, their desire echoing far across the universe for other prinnies to hear…

But as a black helicopter starts to be visible and descend upon the middle of the stadium, Prinjaja says: "No, doods, I was thinking more along the lines of….Permanent execution…"

A rope latter is thrown down and Prinjaja hooks his fin onto a handle. The prinnies in the stadium are wondering what the fu?k is going on as the helicopter ascends and gets smaller, and Prinjaja their leader is not anymore a presence on the stage.

A while later, something from the sky falls down, fluttering slowly to the ground. As it lands on the podium, we find out that it's a prinny costume. Many other prinny costumes start to fall from the sky, and confusion starts to share a slightly rising panic among the blue masses in the stadium. Many Prinnies start to hear their cellphones ring, many answer.

Here are the answers:

"Doooooood, they're executing prinnies in celestia!!"

"Don't go to the stadiums, they're tricking prinnies by issuing fake rallies!"

"Run away, it's a conspiracy dood, tell everyone to get the hell out!!"

Such answers on the phones are given, and thus recited amongst one another across the stadium, all of this happens within 7 seconds….. With no leader abroad, chaos issues. It is expected and now known that mass termination is being executed in the stadiums, not just this one. Prinnies push each other, knife each other, climb over each other to reach the outer rings of the stadiums. The closer you are to the center of the stadium, the worst it is. The uproar of crowds in panic dies and reincarnates into an uproar of terror as part of the stadium receives a medium explosion. Prinny bodies fly everywhere.

"OH SHIT DOOOOOOOOD!!"

One prinny punches, climbs, knifes, and pushes his way from eminent death so much, he starts to get exhausted and says, "screw this dood…"

He gets buried 15 feet under the weight of prinny survival, along with his zeal to live for the sake of prinnihood…

Its no longer civil protest, its survival of the prinnies.

The NetherWorld fleet comes, with its presence more saturated, and more bombs are being dropped on the stadium. It'll cost a lot to rebuild the stadium, indeed, but its better then to increase the wages(and dignity for that matter) for the prinny civilization.

The Gigantoh-Big screen stadium High Defintion television fizzes on. Its prinjaja…

"how could you do this to us?" says a prinny, before her image is overwhelmed by the birth of an explosion. Those in the center of the stadium that are still trying to get out don't know that it is impossible to get out, for now prinnies are getting decimated by the Netherworld infantry division number three at the out layers of the stadium.

A gas bomb is dropped by a flag ship into the stadium…

Prinjaja states, "Now doods, your eyes and your ears MAY start bleeding…"

Many many helicopters dump buckets of liquid onto the very very dense and still saturated population of prinnies in the stadium.

"Please, take precautions to make sure you are still breathing."

"wait a minute, dis is freakin' gasoline!!" a prinny realizes as he licks his arm.

From the Flag ship, from the balcony overlooking the mass blue of stadium mingled with destruction, a very slender arm reaches out. It holds an unlit match. The tip magically becomes lit. And the slender hand with its slender thumb and index finger part from each other. The lit match starts its journey and steadily falls slowly and slowly, closing in on the chaos that is the Rally and protest of the Blue population(or what was so at first).

Until then it taps a prinny on the crown of its head, and almost immediately after so (not even giving the prinny a chance to say "Dood?"), this docile and gentle lit match starts its homicidal territorial domination with "haste" at the height of its definition.

We see some slender legs with long black whore-ish stockings and extremely tight mini-skirt walk away from the balcony into the security of the Flagship, with prinny cries a mere spirit of the background now.

If you don't know that this is Etna by now, then you're either a noob, or just a damn jackass…

This red-headed bitch walks into the meeting room, there are prinnies there, one of them is the Activist Prinjaja.

They sold out their prinny brothers and sisters to secure their survival, their greed, and position of power. With the Prinny population reduction Agenda carried out, they now figure that their usefulness and desires will meet together accordingly.

To finally stop rebellions, rallies, and other reactionary "what can be's," Etna will establish a one Prinny government, where all the leading prinnies of the world on the ship will systematically dumb down the intelligence, courage, and desires for freedom and higher wages of the common prinny. The shameless traitors of their generation will act as intermediaries with the Prinny god(Etna) and the prinny cattle-- I mean population.

It will take time, but as the generations proceed, the idea for freedom, liberty, high wages, more paid vacations, more vacations in general, and the courage to fight for these ideas…. Will merely become a distant memory in the rivers of time….. Forgotten in the fields where the pendulum swings…. Never aging with desire, for desire… will be….. Ya know, forgotten.

Alright, f?ck this, the fanfic is over, this is the story of how a generation of idealism and their pursuit for freedom and its destruction of such screwed up the entirety of the prinny population in the future…. Far in the future. This is why prinnies have no Get-up-and-go anymore.

Understand?

And so my message is: lets hope this doesn't happen to YOU. (points to reader)

Laugh and be entertained if you will….but I'm serious.


End file.
